The Best Story You Will Ever Read
by xxxRavensClawxxx
Summary: I was bored, it was late, I mashed everything that came to mind together, and TECHNICALLY it is Fanfiction because it is fiction and it is fanmade and it is about almost everything. Enjoy!


1**I own nothing.**

A long time ago in Middle Earth far far away, there was a man named Julius Caesar. He was given an ARC Reactor heart, which he used to enslave Bikini Bottom. With the help of Woof Woof the Krypto Dog, he killed all the Power Rangers with his giant club.

After a while, he and his evil pony guards decided that they were bored, so they skateboarded to a magical world of toys. The killed a tennis ball-headed freak and his clay dog, which were named Shaggy and Fred.

Meanwhile, another man (there are a lot of men in this story) was kicked out of Hogwarts on the account that his sonic wand was not street legal. So he left the Shire to become a Jedi. The 101st Airborne Legion jumped in and had a tea party with him.

Meanwhile, yet ANOTHER man was riding in a time travelling blue pizza car with a man called Professor Oak, who gave him a spider bite and the phrase "With great power comes great power." This man read from a scroll that the god Kratos had given him, and realized he was meant to kill Julius Caesar.

In the suburbs, a pair of twins named Dipper and Mabel were following the clues to unlock the mummy's curse, when a bear jumped out and ate the coffin. Bill Cosby jumped out and roundhouse kicked the bear into the next dimension, where he realized that the man in black that had taken his alien away was his father.

"NNNOOOOOO!" He screamed. The man in black had no idea what was going on, so he stabbed him 37 times in the chest. After cooking up and eating his hands, the Banana King showed up and shoved TNT in everyone's ears. A magical unicorn named Twilight "Movie Where Vampires" Sparkle came and nuked the place.

Edward Richtofen was just finishing up his freeze ray when Lady Gaga showed up and began singing Bad Romance.

"IT'S SO TRUE!" Eddie said and ran away with his plank that had a crudely drawn face on it. Meanwhile, the Hulk was preparing to take a picture of his grandma and grandpa, who lived in a house where balloons came out of the roof.

"HULK SAID STEADY!" He shouted, crushing his camera in his rage. The old couple slowly blinked. Suddenly, a man in a leather vest showed up and yelled "TANK!" Rambo Savage showed up in a Sherman tank and shot teddy bears at everyone. Suddenly a little boy said the fateful words.

"I like trains."

Instantly, fifty trains that made everything 20% cooler appeared and crushed Rambo, the Sherman, the old couple, Hulk, and the camera, because you can totally crush something twice. Kermit the Frog and Grover were simply walking along when OH MY GOSH IT'S JULIUS CAESAR!

As he curled his moustache and laughed maniacally, the guy who was destined to kill Caesar jumped out of a magical wardrobe on a gryphon, wielding the Holy Sword of the Titans.

"I have come to slay you, mighty beast." He said dramatically to Caesar. In response, Caesar snapped his fingers. Instantly, Johnny Cash and Solid Snake jumped out of the bushes, blasting the man with AK-47s.

"HAHAHAHA! YOU'RE A CLOWN!" Caesar said as he flew away on Pegasus, the horse made of clouds and other crap.

"Oh, Jack! I'll never let go!" A woman said as she held on to the man's head. Since he didn't have a name yet, he decided to roll with Jack, although he really wanted her to let go because she was drowning him thanks to the Ents that smashed Hoover Dam.

"YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" The man at Valley Fair shouted to Kick Buttowski, who was ticked off because no rides where fun, on account of him being only about two and a half feet high.

"ANIMATORS!" He screamed to the sky. "You're going on the list." He muttered. Then he put on a fez and went to rob Mr. Krabs of his money.

"Nobody will know this is me, thanks to the fez that doesn't even cover my whole head." He snickered, pulling of his mask and revealing that he was Julius Caesar. He got caught soon afterwards, and went to jail, realizing that it was never a good idea to say your plans within earshot of security.

"Mr. President, you have a call." Mitt Romney said to Obama. Obama snickered and prepared his bass cannon.

"THE MASTER IS HERE! THE DRUMS! THE DRUMS! THERE EVERYWHERE! HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHYHAHAHAHAH HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA!" A man in a bow tie and a fez shouted in his face, giving the African-American Tax Collector a nice view of his teeth.

"Dude, get a breath mint."

"NO, BRUSH YOUR TEETH!" Colgate screeched, stuffing tooth paste and brushes into the fez man's mouth. The man choked to death on the items.

"Colgate, you are officially being sent to the front lines in Iraq for killing a perfectly good bass cannon target." Obama said. Colgate was sent to Iraq, where Al-Asad set off a nuke like in Modern Warfare, which killed everyone within the solar system. And that's how cupcakes are made!

**The End**


End file.
